Crepe Murder Annual Report - 2011, A Southern Thing Y'all
Once upon a time the practice of Southerners hacking my beloved Crepe Myrtle tree down to a nub made me angry. After much thought, and a least two previous LIF posts chastising local folks for Crepe Murder, I have replaced that anger with something approaching amusement at the hilarious futility, at the confirmation of just how dumb we can sometimes be.
I'm also beginning to think Crepe Murder is some bizarre, exclusively Southern trait. Could we just be enjoying a good game of Follow The Leader or Simon Says? Or maybe it is genetically imprinted into us to cut SOMETHING since cutting SOMEONE can get you in all kinds of trouble. (Recently however a gentlemen in Wilmington, NC discovered that cutting something --Crepe Myrtles in this case -- can also lead to problems…. Like an $8,000 tree hacking fine. Not to worry though, the City of Wilmington had second thoughts and first reduced the fine to a mere $3,200 before sternly settling at the astronomical sum of $ZERO. Government works in mysterious ways, huh?)
I'm going to leave my Crepe Myrtle alone. Y'all go ahead and slice and dice to your hearts' content. Maybe I'll be reading about your experience soon in a tabloid or our local fish wrapper. Just don't blame me if that crowd from 60 Minutes shows up at your front door.
Steve Bender, a Senior Writer of Southern Living Magazine otherwise known as The Grumpy Gardener, has produced a YouTube video entitled How To Stop "Crepe Murder" or Crepe Myrtle Murder Forever.
I'll bet you it won't work though.