Applicants must be highly personable and able to spin quickly and focus immediately when called upon to do so. Based on Companionee's reaction to items merely visible on porch, applicants should be prepared for sudden gasping and profuse swooning. Companion should be prepared to catch Companionee in the second event. Companionee does suffer from infrequent but usually alarming verbal missteps, so applicants should not take offense easily. Encyclopedic knowledge of antique furniture, bric-a-brac, and Dixie Classic contests a plus. Must carry and be familiar with the use of smelling salts. Position duration: 1-2 hours.
Please email a detailed statement of relevant applicant qualifications to firstname.lastname@example.org