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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Local Letters

... And I came out from Target to a car that wouldn't start.

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Dear Lady in the Parking Lot:

THANK YOU FOR JUMPING MY CAR. Thank you, thank you, thank you! You told me that you were having a bad day and you'd read somewhere that helping a stranger led to happiness, and I sincerely hope that wherever you are your day is much brighter now. My day was much brighter for your act of kindness. Alas the car completely died while I was driving it on Hanes Mall Boulevard just shy of Stratford.

But that's neither here nor there; what I want to say to you is THANK YOU.

Best,
Lucy

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Dear Two (2) Separate City of Winston-Salem Employees in City of Winston-Salem Vehicles Who Stopped to See if I Was OK:

THANK YOU. I frankly think they should add one more hyphen and rename the city Winston-Awesome-Salem in your honor. Among all the drivers who navigated past me where I sat stalled blocking the left lane, with hazards faintly blinking, you and one older lady were the only ones who checked. All others either studiously ignored me, which is fine, or gave me evil looks, which is SO NOT FINE.

But that's neither here nor there; what I want to say to you is THANK YOU.

Best,
Lucy

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Dear Homeless (I Presume) Gentleman:

THANK YOU. You emerged from the brush after a few minutes to walk over and make sure I was OK. You took it upon yourself to stand behind my vehicle and advance direct traffic away, which cut down on the evil looks I received immeasurably. Then you helped my husband get his truck into place to jump me again when he arrived. You thanked me and wished me God Bless when I gave you the small pittance I had with me. I wish I had had more than a few dollars on me or some Village Tavern Shrimp & Grits to give you, at least, because those are the best in town.

But that's neither here nor there; what I want to say to you is THANK YOU.

Best,
Lucy

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Dear Every Driver Who Gave Me An Evil Look:

Please, explain to me why you felt it necessary to contort your face into such an ugly expression and make sure I saw it. Do you honestly believe I woke up this morning and thought to myself, "How can I best screw it up for the citizenry of this fair city? I know! I'll have my car break down at a major intersection!" Because, hello, I did not. I guarantee you I was more upset about my car's immovability than you were. I was also more affected by it, timewise and financially. I apologize for the extra AT MOST 90 seconds I cost you with my wanton display of auto failure; I spent $120 and a good hour at Sears Automotive getting a new battery after my husband re-jumped my car and followed me to make sure I got there safely.

But that's neither here nor there; what I want to say to you is IF I'D MEANT TO SCREW UP THE UNIVERSE I WOULD HAVE EVIL GENIUS TIMED IT FOR RUSH HOUR.

Best,
Lucy
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