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Thursday, September 23, 2010

T minus 2 days until wedding

My husband didn't like my dress when I tried it on for him. He didn't say he didn't like my dress, but his face did.

When I stated matter-of-factly, "You don't like it," he sort of head-bobbed from shoulder to shoulder, then shrugged.

"It's OK..."

Uh, no.

So I've spent the last two days finding a backup option. I've been - no exaggeration - all over town. I've zipped in and out of places at the speed of light. In one store I tried on no less than seven dresses in ten minutes, dismissing each one with the mercy of the Terminator.
  1. My d├ęcolletage and I would like to thank you for inviting us to your wedding!
  2. I'm only staying until it's time to go to work on the streets.
  3. After this, I'm emigrating to a military dictatorship, and I plan to be very high up in the government.
  4. Look! I brought my own napkin!
  5. Yes, you're staring, but it's not your fault; my hips put everyone into a hypnotic trance.
  6. Hey, anyone want to go outside and key cars with me?
  7. The assignment on this episode of Project Runway began with, "First kill a Muppet."
Happily I finally found a separates option in one of my favorite colors, charcoal grey.

And now I return to you! I missed this place! And all of you!

(And yes, I've noted the insanity of this barely putting a dent in my stride, blogwise, but dress-shopping for a special occasion utterly hobbling me.)
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