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Sunday, April 04, 2010


Yesterday I was driving home from my third trip to the grocery in one day (blame the pollen for my inability to remember a mere six items and get them all in one fell swoop) when I saw it: one of those electoral signs stuck at a jaunty angle in someone's front lawn. I noticed not the office to which the person aspired. I noticed not the political party to which the person adhered. What I did notice was the first name: GARDENIA. And if you had put me in the voting booth at that exact moment, I would happily have put an x in the Gardenia for Monarch for Life box, because fantastic names like that render me hopelessly foolhappy, and I very much would have enjoyed paying for groceries with money emblazoned with Queen Gardenia of the County of Forsyth.

Names, glorious names...

My husband and I watch DVD'd episodes of Psych in the evening, this being a show that reduces us pretty much continually to snorts and silent laughter and general giddiness. My favorite part of almost any episode is when Shawn Spencer introduces his partner, Gus, by a fake name. Shawn's taste can only be described as "robust", and so Gus becomes Gulliver Muttonchops. Or Ovaltine Jenkins. Maybe even Succotash Jones. (That middle one is an actual example. It's from one of the Season 2s we watched last night.)

(I came this close to sporting an amazing name myself. My mother ever so briefly considered naming me for my great-grandmother, Lula Swannanoa. Alas.)

Now I get my name fixes in the evenings from Psych and in the mornings from our local obituaries. Today's paper brought me Magaline Woods Foxx, known to many as "Moot" and Franklin McHam. Both names send me nearly over the moon with joy.

Back to Gardenia. My strong gut-reaction to vote for such an amazing name reminds me of the paramount importance of familiarizing myself with the candidates for the upcoming local elections before I find myself in the booth pulling the handle for Clement Rapscallion, solely because of the intoxicating effect of his moniker, or even for Gardenia, for that matter, though I do wish her luck whatever office she may be pursuing on behalf of whichever party. (Now to go find out.)

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Forsyth County Board of Elections
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