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Tuesday, April 06, 2010

A day late but in no way a dollar short, put your hands together for...


Happy Easter race fans! As we are nearing the end of racing season, tensions are rising and nerves are getting tested as 3 drivers are left competing for the championship.

In weeks past I have I have clearly established that I think Tim Brown is a giant tool. This week made me realize even more what a self-centered, egotistical jerk he really is. Tim got spun out last week, and he was complaining about it like someone kicked his dog and then shaved a patch of his pompadour off while he slept. Tim Brown is a giant man-child. He is a sore loser and a poor sport. He treats his crew terribly, and I'm guessing one of these days he's going to walk into his shop and get hit upside the head with a lug wrench by one of his regularly abused team members.

Tim complained that nothing this season has gone his way. Nothing, Tim? Really? You're leading in the points, you've had no mechanical problems and no one has wrecked you until last week. You used profanity on the PA system at Bowman Gray, and all you got was a slap on the wrist, despite the fact that you've had warnings for this type of behavior before. Hmm, I could be wrong -- a very unlikely option -- or you could have had EVERYTHING go your way this season. Simmer down now, you clothes repeating, non-moveable hair wearing crybaby.

Tim then announces to his team that he is possibly going to sell his race car. He did this without consulting his crew. I understand that Tim owns his car and he gets to call the shots, but when you have 4 or 5 guys that spend 40 plus hours of their own time, not getting paid, to work on your car each week, I'm thinking they deserve a little input. When Tim's crew chief was being interviewed about the sale of the race car, you would have thought he was about to cry. As a matter of fact, I think he looked sadder than Jonathan Brown did when he found out his mother died. Come on, Tim, treat your crew like they are part of the team. Acting all tough doesn't make you look good, and neither does your hair.

As I previously alluded to, Jonathan Brown's mother died during this episode. It was a big blow to the high that Jon Boy is on right now, as he is currently second in points, tied with my secret boyfriend, Burt Myers. Jonathan left his crew to do most of the work on his car this week while he tended to family matters.

Get out your Abilify... Chris Fleming returned this week. His broken ribs are healed, and we got to see Chris's brother, Frank, fix his car while he healed. Chris "The Showstopper" Fleming did so well that no one even noticed he was back. He finished 13th. I know, moving on.

The Easter Bunny brought me a present this week... a healthy dose of the Myers family. I have decided that besides Burt, my favorite person on Madhouse is Burt's Uncle Frank. That dude is hilarious. He looks like a skinny version of Kenny Rogers. The man is never without a cigarette in his hand, and the ash on the end of his smoke is always like an inch and a half long. At the Myers garage this week Jason decided it was time to repaint his car and get rid of the gold stripe down the center of the car. Jason doesn't feel the gold has brought him any luck, and Burt convinces him to paint his car orange to match his. As I always say, what's better than one Myers boy? Two Myers boys.

Burt and Gary Myers work all week re-striping Jason's car, and it couldn't have brought Jason better luck. Jason qualified on the pole and was starting on the inside next to Tim Brown. Burt was starting on the inside of row two, and the Myers boys were hoping to shut Tim out during the start and cause him to ride the outside and lose position. Their wishes came true as Tim dropped back to 5th, and the Myers boys ended up finishing first and second, with Jason taking the checkered flag. This was truly my favorite race of last season.

Oh, and here's your Junior update... he crashed this week. Shocker.

Only a few races left in the 2009 season at the Madhouse. I know who wins... but I'm not telling.

And for your Madhouse Quote of the Week:

Burt and Uncle Frank are discussing Jonathan Brown's recent wins and how Junior has been helping him, and Uncle Frank says, "Well, it looks like he's getting ready to come out there and kick your butt."

I know, I know....it doesn't sound funny, but it was funny if you watched the show. There weren't too many quotes to choose from this week as Junior was barely on the show.
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