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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Better late than never when it comes to...


Have no fear, Madhouse fans... I'm late, but I'm here. You'll have to excuse my tardiness, as I now have a new work schedule and am trying to adjust my body clock to working well into the night.

So, on to the good stuff...

I need to start out by asking... how many shirts that discuss Moonshine does a person need? I've survived 32 years of life without owning one shirt that says Moonshine but Jason Myers cannot say the same thing. I have seen Jason Myers in at least 4 different t-shirts that have some sort of reference to Moonshine. Has anyone ever tasted Moonshine? If you have, the only thing you'll be needing the Moonshine t-shirt for is to wipe the vomit chunks from your mouth once you've puked after tasting it. Enough said about that.

My first complaint about this episode is that my "boyfriend"/favorite driver, Burt Myers, was barely shown. That's like making me watch a George Clooney movie without showing me George Clooney. And yes, I just compared George Clooney and Burt Myers. I am a true Southern girl; I just ate a Little Debbie oatmeal cookie for breakfast.

This episode focused on Jason Myers and his quest to seek a win and a balance between his family life and his race life. Jason's daughter had a dance recital at the same time as qualifying for this week's race. Jason had to choose which he could do or if it was possible for him to do both. I have to say kudos to Mrs. Jason Myers for using her dancing daughter, Emma, to lure Jason to the recital. Who tells an adorable 7-year-old begging you to come watch her dance that you can't be there? I'll tell you who... Diablo. That's the only person I can think of.

Jason wins the pole and makes it to his daughter's dance recital. He shows that he has a true commitment to his racing and to his family and I give him credit for working long hours and a hard job to make ends meet and still do what's right and what he loves.

On to Junior. We followed Junior as he went to collect back rent from a tenant in a trailer he owns. The woman hadn't paid rent in 4 months. When we arrive at the trailer, I too shake my head. Walking to the trailer Junior trips and nearly falls... which I find hilarious because when people trip, it's funny.

Junior's tenant answers the door at what I'm guessing was about lunchtime on a weekday in gray cotton sweatpants, a sweatshirt and hair that looked like she'd been riding on the back of a coyote. Hey, Junior, if your tenant is answering the door in sweats at 11AM on a Tuesday, I'm guessing work is not something in her day planner, and you probably should have rented to someone else. I think it's fair to say that she's not taking a sick day when it looks like the contents of her house are actually in the yard rather than the house. The woman/burden on the government slams the door in Junior's face and he leaves saying he's going to go get the Sheriff to evict her.

Fast forward 10 days... Junior returns with the Sheriff to boot the woman out of the trailer. She loads up all her worldly belongings into her '88, two-toned Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme (a car near and dear to my heart, and those who knew me in high school know why) and sped off. Her trunk wouldn't shut, and the only window she could see out of was the one to her left that allowed egress for her Virginia Slim. Junior really knows how to pick 'em.

Tim Brown got a new sequined jump suit, oops, I mean "race suit" this week. He was posing in the mirror like he was Paris Hilton and the paparazzi. Give me a break. I have never seen a person oozing with more cockiness than 10 minutes ago when I was looking at myself in the mirror doing my daily "KT is better than everyone" affirmations.

The race got rained out this week, and so drivers had an extra week to get their cars ready for a 100 lap race. Drivers were once again forced to draw for position from the dirty tube sock. Tim Brown draws the pole. The race starts and Junior quickly gives Jason Myers his weekly dose of bumping, causing Jason to spin out and finish 15th overall. Why does Junior bother even racing if all he does every week is wreck people? They have about 4 demolition derbies each year at Bowman Gray. Enter a derby and crash all you want, Junior.

Tim Brown and Jonathan Brown are challenging each other most of the race. Jonathan was looking for his first modified win and Tim Brown was trying to hang on to his large points lead. Jonathan took the lead with 85 laps to go, only to find that Tim Brown and his new jump suit steal it back and win the race.

Chris Fleming nearly gets into a fight in the pits after the race. For a man claiming he is so close to Jesus, he certainly is quick to throw a haymaker. I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't walk around tossing right hooks when he had a disagreement with someone.

That's a wrap... until next week.

Here's your Madhouse Quote of the Week...
Junior's newly evicted soccer mom: "He's a slumlord, that's all Junior Miller is, a slumlord!"

(This week wasn't the best for memorable quotes.)
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