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Monday, January 11, 2010

Ladies and Gentlemen...

It is my great pleasure to present to you
a guest post
the one
the only

(and the crowd goes wild)

A Review of the Premiere Episode of Madhouse

Last night I plopped on the couch to enjoy the first of a 13 week series on the History Channel called, "Madhouse." All I was lacking to make my night sheer perfection was a bag of cotton candy, a footlong hot dog, a barb wire tattoo around my bicep and the aroma of Marlboro Lights in the air....I'm not a smoker by any means but there's something about the sweet smell of a cancer stick and rubber burning that really perks up a Southern girl on a sweltering summer night.

"Madhouse" is a look into weekly racing that occurs every Saturday night throughout the summer at Bowman Gray Stadium in Winston Salem. I must admit that I'm the kind of girl that likes her high heels and skirts, loves romantic comedies and thinks "My Humps," is a great song. I'm also a girl that has been attending races at the track since I was 8. You can dress me up but Sunday-Friday but on Saturday nights I'll be sporting a Burt Myers t-shirt and hollering with all the other residents of the Madhouse.

Many people were concerned that this show was going to give the South a bad rap. Guess what?! We already have a bad rap (thanks is large part to Jeff Foxworthy) ....people will always call us rednecks and laugh at our accents but we still will say "please" and "thank you" and hold the door open for a stranger. We may wear cut off t-shirts, think a thong sticking out of our jean shorts is sexy and swear a lot (always asking God to forgive us at church on Sunday morning) but we are good people. We work hard so we play hard. This show won't change opinions of those who don't know the good and decent people that live here. The South has funnel cakes and racing. The North has hockey and unsweet tea (ewwww). We all have our own things. So before I get into this review, I'm talking to all you Yankees....this is your warning....make fun of us and all we'll do is cuss ya, then say a prayer for you and wish you had better manners. What I'm trying to say is, this show isn't going to help us Southerners but do we really care? At least we'll help an old lady across the street.

I found this show to be exactly what I was hoping for...lots of interviews with Burt Myers. Burt is the "golden boy" at the race track and he happens to be my most favorite driver ever. Not only is he nice to look at and just darling with his thick Southern accent but he is a heck of a good driver. Burt is a good family man with a wife and kids. His family is his world and racing is his life. He loves it. His brother, Jason, is my second most favorite driver. Hey, what's better than one Myers boy???? Two!! The Myers' have a longstanding feud with their arch nemesis, Junior Miller. Let me put this feud in prospective....let's compare it to Jenn v. Angelina, Biggie v. 2Pac, Duke v. UNC, me v. the Taser. Needless to say, it's big.

I'll try to give an unbiased opinion here....Junior Miller is like that piece of poop you step in. He smells, he annoys you and he seems to always ruin your day. That's what he does to me. Junior has been racing at the track since the days when you had to start your car with your feet, Fred Flintstone style. He is old as dirt. Now, I will give him some credit, he does know how to drive, sometimes. I mean seriously, doesn't the DMV have a rule against allowing 80 year olds to race cars that have 600 horsepower? Junior is the kind of guy that realizes he isn't going to win so he takes his toys and goes home....and by toys, I mean he likes to crash his race car into one of the Myers' boys and leave the track before they break his hip back in the pits.

The episode focused on the feud between they Myers' and Junior and also what the guys do to get themselves prepared each and every week at the Madhouse. It is amazing the time and energy that goes into these machines. We saw how the drivers try to balance family, friends, real jobs, and racing. I got tired watching and it made me feel like maybe I should stop spending my Saturdays watching "Project Runway" marathons and try to do something productive.....I should "make it work" Tim Gunn style.

If you have never been to one of these races at Bowman Gray I highly encourage you to go. It's cheap entertainment, family and friends will love it. As a matter of fact I have now taken 2 native Philadelphians (real life Yankees) to the track and they loved it. I have also taken guys I dated, funny thing is, I'm not dating them anymore?! I wonder if standing up giving the middle finger to Junior qualified as a dealbreaker? Hmmmm?

The series looks super promising with fights, wrecks and rivalries to come.

Here is my "Madhouse" quote of the week:
Junior Miller: "I'd spin my Grandma out of her wheelchair for $5,000."
Seriously? Your Grandma?

Thank you (see I am polite Southerner),
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