Please do not stare at me in horror when you walk by. I am not lobbing a beer bottle for Salsa to fetch. It's a dog toy. In fact, it's about the best dog toy ever in terms of indestructibility. You can get one, too, at Pawsh.
ATTN: Person in Rural Hall who is missing a goat
He's at the shelter. Surely you've noticed his absence by now. He's been with Animal Control for two days already.