"They're having them for the first time. Normally they get oatmeal, but this morning I thought, 'Let's have grits, kids.' "
"And?" I ask.
"H.R. is covered with them now. She's got them all over herself."
"Be careful. Grits turn into glue when they dry."
"So does oatmeal. It's just healthier."
"Well, now, MPB, grits themselves aren't that bad. It's what you put in them that makes them bad."
"These do have a little butter and a little salt, I must confess. And I can totally dig on grits with bacon and cheese."
"Yes. Treat them like a baked potato and load them up! I just don't get people who try to make them into a sweet."
"I am sad to inform you Mr. MPB puts grape jelly in his. And stirs it up! In front of me!"
"Oh, MPB, honey. You shouldn't have ever married him. Where does that even come from?"
"Ohio. It's the Ohio in him!"
"I'm so sad for you, MPB."
"Well, it's typical. The South sends something good up, and the North has to mess it up."