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Wednesday, August 08, 2007

M Prognosticator B

MPB agrees, "Oh, yes, I am completely looking forward to the Dixie Classic. I just can't understand how anyone could not love it."

I begin to count off the reasons I do indeed love it. "The kids dancing to the funk music, my annual funnel cake, my fancy chickens - I LOVE my fancy chickens - the demolition derby..."

That's when it hits me.

"MPB, I just remembered!"


"Last year, it was so cold the night of the demolition derby that I had to buy the oldest a sweatshirt. A Dixie Classic sweatshirt! And I was so happy to find hot apple cider in Yesterday Village! That's what I'm looking forward to! I'm ready to be cold."

"Lord, yes." I can almost hear MPB nodding on the other end of the line. "It is just too hot. But you know what I've noticed, Lucy?"


"In all my years on this earth, I have gathered knowledge and wisdom," MPB begins to intone solemnly. "And I have come to know that if the acorns are heavy, we will have a good winter freeze."

I'm silent for a good three seconds. "And you know this how exactly, MPB?"

"Because in 2003, the acorns were ankle deep on my back porch, and we had ice. And snow. Here. In Winston-Salem."

I point to the giant hole in this theory. "So let me get this straight: you have observed this phenomenon exactly once. Is that correct?"

"I have observed it all my life. All my wisdom-gathering years. I just didn't notice until 2003."

I begin to crack up. "And are you saying that this year is going to be a good acorn year?"

"I am indeed. There is a tree on Robinhood, across from that other Methodist church, you know which one..."

"Mt. Tabor?"

"Yes, Mt. Tabor. And the tree is positively heavy with fat, green acorns."

"So we will have a heavy winter?"

"Yes. This is what I'm saying."

I make a mental note to go check out this wise tree as our conversation moves along to pot-bellied pig names and holiday decor crime risks.
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