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Saturday, January 13, 2007

When I grow up, I want to be an astronaut

One more year.

The youngest has one more year of half-day school after this one, though next year he will be going five mornings a week instead of this year's three. Then he joins his older brother in full-day schooldom. And I will be (trumpets sounding) Getting a Job.

In preparation for this, I've been doing a lot of thinking and self-examination. And to be honest, it doesn't look especially pretty.

* I've been out of the work force since February of 1998. Any office-y skills I had are antiquated. If you think I'm kidding, follow me into Kinkos one day.

* All my super contacts? Either lost from contact, at home with children themselves, or so incredibly high up in the food chain they wouldn't be in touch with the positions for which my skills might possibly qualify me.

Ah, yes, my skills.

1. I know a tiny smidge about everything, but I am an expert in nothing. This makes me an outstanding cocktail party guest, as I can find something to discuss with anyone. Unfortunately, there are very few openings in Winston-Salem for "paid cocktail party guest".

2. I was qualified as a Junior Bowman while at summer camp in Transylvania County. Yes, it's been, oh, twenty-five years, but I still feel pretty good about this. Sadly, I lost the little badge decades ago, or I could sew it onto the pocket of a blazer and really nail interviews. Or maybe not - I can't say as I've seen want ads for Junior Bowmen in the Journal.

3. I'm good at removing clothing stains. I appear to be the only person wildly impressed with my prowess, though.

Wow, I think that about covers it.

I have then roughly 19 months to get some skills that might possibly make employers clamor to have me join their ranks, in spite of the fact that I will want to work only during school hours and I have no desire to actually work in a school.

It's a shame that my three-prong career plan from when I was ten no longer seems feasible, hourswise. It still sounds really good.

1. stewardess (now called flight attendant, I hear)
2. attorney
3. fourth Charlie's Angel

So, any fab ideas? I pick up on things fast. I'm just not sure what to aim to pick up.
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