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Friday, January 26, 2007

Bag Lady

"Oh my GOD! It's HUGE! How?"

"I'm just blessed," my husband smiles.

"Gimme a ruler," I snap.

He laughs, incredulous. "You're going to measure it?"

"Nooo," I say patiently. "I need something for scale. I'm going to photograph it."

Dear Chick-Fil-A on Peacehaven People:

Why is it that when I go through the drive-thru, it's like it's a game to see how much food you can cram into one bag? It always topples over on the way home and spills, because you don't leave any room at the top for me to even fold the bag over. So as soon as I pull away and make that first left turn around the indoor playplace thingie, BAM! It spills.

Is there a big bag shortage of which I am unaware? Are your bags perhaps spun with precious metals to make them stronger but thereby rendering them too precious to part with? Perhaps we should all start bringing our own bags, maybe those string ones that are supposedly all the rage among eco-conscious Europeans but look awfully like recycled fishing nets?

(One time, I went inside to get food to go, and I asked you for a larger bag, but I might as well have asked for goat's blood for my waffle fries, so horrified was the cashier's face. And the manager, standing just behind, said, "Oh, no problem at all!" but then the cashier gave me that same small bag and said, "WelcometoChickFilAHowcanIhelpyou?" to the next person as he gave it to me. He knew what he was doing. You'll never convince me otherwise.)

But my real outrage is that when my husband goes through the drive-thru, it's like a game to see if you can find THE LARGEST BAG POSSIBLE to put his food in. He doesn't even ask for a large bag. You just give it to him. EVERY DAMN TIME.

Tired of my husband finding the whole thing oh-so-hilarious,

PS: He always gets an extra straw, too. An extra! Suffice it to say, when I go I am lucky if I don't have to slurp my Diet Coke out of the little x-hole on the lid.
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