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Sunday, December 31, 2006

Closed

Years ago, my late mother went through about a three month stage where she was obsessed with "bringing closure". I think she heard it or saw it on some talk show. She seized upon the concept as an important part of communication. Each telephone conversation, she would say, "To bring closure, here is what I said, ____________, and here is what you said, ______________. " And then you'd have to listen to the highlights of what you just finished saying all over again. This wasn't even just for disagreements; she did this every conversation. So you'd agree to meet her at 2 pm at her house, and then she'd "bring closure" by repeating that you'd agreed to meet her at her house at 2 pm. Every conversation lasted twice as long as necessary since everything was repeated in summary form at the end pf each conversation. If you tried to cut it short, you would be met with silence followed by her going back to the very beginning. It was a wretched stage, and thankfully, it didn't stick.

My definition of "bringing closure" is entirely different. I consider it to be finishing a topic so that it never need be discussed or rehashed again. And so I present to you...

Blogging Closure
or
Topics I will Never Touch Upon Again, 2006 Edition

1. Wal-Mart. They are the scourge of civilized business, end of conversation.

2. The ridiculous cardboard recycling requirements in Forsyth County.

3. Hitz 94.1. Because they're gone.

4. Premature holiday decorations. I feel I've made my position clear.

5. Tim Clodfelter's alter-ego. The picture is awful, period.

6. The Dinner Belle's fixation with a certain lettuce. She seems to have dropped it. Yay! Her reviews have actually been much better recently, save that the majority seem to be of eateries in Greensboro. Come back to Forsyth, DB!

7. Pottery Barn. Just Say No.

8. My Very Important Customer card. I think I've pretty much covered all the angles.

And now a topic upon which I have never before commented, but I'm going to throw down my two cents now and then never say anything again...

9. ATTN: News Outlets: I don't actually need to see pictures of Saddam Hussein with a noose on his neck. I don't need to see his dead body in a shroud. I don't need coverage of how his body looked as it fell. This is sensationalism at its worst, and I'm seeing it from almost every news source. Guess what? It's backfiring. I'm actually turned off reading news websites and hard print, because click a link or turn a page and LOOK IT'S SADDAM HUSSEIN DYING! LOOK AT HIS FACE! LOOK! LOOK! There is absolutely no news or editorial value to the pictures and information you are currently disseminating, just titillation value.
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