So WHY oh WHY has she been featured on page A2 of the paper, in the
Paris Hilton decides to not have relations for a year! (August 7th)
Paris Hilton bitten by exotic pet kinkajou - requires Band-Aid! (Today)
You do realize she didn't actually do anything, right? In one case, she decided not to do something; in the other something was done to her. She's not a Newsmaker; she's a passive lump!
So, please, for the love of God, sweet Journal, drop the Paris Hilton NonNews Flashes, unless the kinkajou manages next time to decapitate her, in which case make it A1.