A friend is reading me my detailed, "personal" horoscope over the phone. I am only half-listening, as I don't really believe in horoscopes. Still, my mother unfailingly clipped the If You Were Born on This Day horoscope for me every year on my birthday, so in memory of her, I am at least letting my friend read this.
"Wait a minute. What did you just say?"
"You are ruled by your anus," she repeats.
"URANUS. The planet."
"Oh. Haha. Sorry. Continue. Please."
She goes on about my airy nature and tendency to flee as my mind begins to wander again.
I really need to touch up the paint on this trim. It's getting sort of beat up looking after two years. The kids, I suppose. The kids do a number on paint, on carpet, on the lawn. They probably will continue to do so until they're all grown up.
When I pull my mind back, she has moved on to the qualities the various planets give me.
"Your anus is about all things strange and unusual."
And now I am laughing because I'm not sure I'm completely grown up myself.